paint it black

First off, I know if anyone stumbles across this shit, and given how epic the title/URL is I'm pretty damn sure someone's going to pop up eventually, the first thought that's going to go through their head is that I'm probably emo.

Clarification. I'm not emo. I'm about as far from emo as you can get, because I like colors. Namely pink. Pink is a very good color. If I'd had the option to have a pink and black layout, I would have jumped all over it. I know some emo people like colors. But only in hair.

Ordinarily, I'd make my own layout, do some awesome coding, fire up Photoshop, the works. Having a space on the web is the same as moving into a new house -- it's just cheaper to redecorate.

But honestly, when you make a blog to document your downward spiral, there's no need to spruce up. It's like going to an abandoned warehouse to kill yourself -- you don't bring Pinesol and a mop, you bring a bag of pills and a bottle of rum.

And that is the point of this blog. I've decided to will myself to lose the will to live, which will be hard as fuck considering that my body doesn't want me to do it, and neither does 45% of my mind, and the whole process, because it is me, and most of everything I set out to do could be written into the plot of any given primetime sitcom, will probably be at least slightly amusing to someone out there.

At any rate, if there is an afterlife, I can read this shit wherever I end up, ninth circle or seventh heaven, and be entertained by my own stupidity.

So yeah. Imagine that they turned '5 Minutes to Kill Yourself' into a Final Fantasy length rpg, and you've got this blog.

Please feel free to get the hell out of here if this is weirding you out, because it'll get a hell of a lot worse before we're done, folks. : )